I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and survived Black Friday! We are still recovering from self-induced food comas at LOOMLAB.
For your reading enjoyment, here is a brief history on the hand turkey, as penned by Accumulated Errata.
The first hand turkey recorded can be found among the cave paintings at Lascaux, dated from 13,000 BCE. The stunningly accurate portrayal of the hand turkey is not a hoax, but rather has been verified by the presence of hand turkey fossils in the surrounding French countryside. Carbon dating suggests that they are from 13,000 BCE.
In 1000 CE, a hoarde of Vikings land in Newfoundland. They lived in this new land for some months, bringing with them native European livestock, including boars, cattle, and hand turkeys. when the Vikings gave up on this hostile, barren place, they left the hand tukeys behind. From here, they spread throughout the eastern territories of North America.
In 1899, hand turkey populations hit an all-time low. The bird's colorful plumage became a popular feature of ladies' fashion; the hand turkey was killed for its feathers. People regularly consumed 8-course meals, and the hand turkey was frequent dish. It is said that President William McKinley consumed as many as 12 hand turkeys a day. This boom in popularity spelled trouble for the most noble of species.
Like the dodo bird, the mastadon, and the Caspian tiger, the hand turkey remains only in our imaginations, kindergarten classrooms, and the memories of a few old folks who still remember the days when hand turkeys roamed free across the American landscape.
